The Final 24

I rose at 5 a.m. feeling creative, expressive and energized. I'm not sure if it was my daily calendar alert that roused me or the excitement of a new chapter in my life. Either way, I could not relax my bones so I started my day with an endearing message to my sweetheart and a poem for myself.

In T-22 hours, I, Eunice N. Smith, will begin my transition from relaxed to natural hair. There are many options for embarking on such a journey – braids, sista locks, sew-ins, wigs and weaves – that allow for a leisurely pace into unknown territory. My path though, is bold and direct. I'm cutting straight to the chase (literally) and I feel good about it.

The decision to change my hair didn't come easily but it was sudden – it took me less than 2 weeks from inception to execution.  I wasn't frustrated with my hair.  There was no shedding or split ends, no damage from over processing. The idea dropped like an acorn from an oak tree and planted itself in my head when I read the blog of one of my many spiritual sisters, Rita Stewart entitled Speaking of Mu Shemsu-t. Ms. Rita is a very enlightening, spiritually grounded soul who shared her story about naturally healing herself when doctors told her surgery was her only option (I won't ruin the ending for you). The idea of going natural seemed plausible at that point whereas just weeks before, I proudly proclaimed my marriage to hair relaxers and other straightening products.

I looked at a few pictures of natural hair styles, read literature and consulted with other spiritual sisters who shared experiences, product suggestions and web-sites to help me make an informed decision – thank you Kania, Aniki and Rita. The more I came to understand about the benefits of going natural, the more I was convinced that it is the perfect move for me and NOW is the perfect time.

Because I am making such a drastic change in my appearance that affects the people who love me most – my children and significant other - I discussed my idea with them before taking the plunge. My younger children did not buy into the idea of mommy with 'nappy' hair at all and warned "NOOOOOO momma!" I almost let their opinion strangle my fragile confidence. I later had a brief conversation with my older sons who were no more convinced than my younger crew but, with the wisdom expected from adults, encouraged me to try it out – my confidence was breaking through tough soil.

My last stop on the decision list was my sweetheart. As we sat enjoying each other's company, I expressed my interest in the natural look - concerns and all. He listened as he always does but refrained from imposing his opinion other than to say he liked my hair short (as it is now). The next day, I sent him a text that read "Babe, REALLY (he knows I mean it when I use all caps) thinking about natural hair. I know you like what I got now. Advice?" His simple response, "Do it" swelled my heart with joy. His support coupled with the love and support of my children sustain me and give me courage to move confidently in a direction I might otherwise retreat from.

I contacted the family barber Marvin (my only brother) to see if he could assist in my quest. Like it normally does, the conversation began with an exchange of light-hearted insults before we got down to business. I asked him when I could take up the space in his chair (the toilet in the upstairs bathroom of his home) for a haircut. He'd just lined the back of my hair not even two weeks prior to my call so the confusion in his voice was warranted.

"Didn't I just cut your hair?" he asked more out of misunderstanding than reluctance. I chuckled my reply "Yeah, but I don't need a trim." I promise I could see his head tilting sideways, indicating utter bewilderment. "So what kind of cut you talkin' then?" The conversation rivaled a Laurel & Hardy skit at that point.

 "Off"
"Off, off?"
"OFF, OFF, like yours off."I said.
"What you mean off, off? You going bald or something?"
"Just for now. Going natural, cutting all the perm off."
"Ooh?" He finally got it – humorous confusion was abated; now only a slight question lined the corner of his lips.

We talked a bit more about mutual availability and scheduled my appointment for Thursday, April 22, 2010. He shared words of encouragement and admiration at my decision to do away with chemically treated tresses. We traded updates about family and ended the call. I was on my way…

That is the long and short of my decision to trade relaxers for hair butter, flat irons for flat twists. Money and time spend in salons can now be dedicated to outings with the family I love so much and the natural hair products I'll need to keep my hair healthy.

As I count down hour by hour, I feel more and more convinced that I'm headed in the right direction. I have embraced the me that I will meet tomorrow and I'm prepared to grow into the me I have yet to become.

I have started this blog to serve as my journal so that I may share my walk with those who love me. It is also my proactive approach to therapy for the frustrating times I'm sure to face. May this public diary be a reminder of why I made this move and an reflection on the road traveled during each phase of my metamorphosis.

Thanks and Acknowledgments…

To my children:
Thank you for being a bright spot in my life. We have come such a long way together and have so far to grow. I am pleased to see each of you make your transition from girls to young ladies; boys to men. I am eternally grateful that you set aside your opinions to support me through my own transition. I thank you in advance for listening to my rants, for the encouragement to NOT go back to relaxers and for the smiles you will undoubtedly use to shield frowns when my hair might just look WRONG. I apologize for the moments where I may need to go on 'time out' due to a bad attitude induced by frustrations that come with the territory. Though I am your mother, your acts of friendship are invaluable.

To my brother:Hey man! Thanks for being the best brother I could ask for. Your humor, talent and love make this special moment possible. Though I tease you (with your cute little flat screen LOL) it's only because I'm so proud of you and grateful for our close relationship. See you in a few hours stupid face! Love you!

To my sweetheart:
You know me so well. I'll never be able to tell you so it is my sincere prayer that I have an opportunity to show you how much your love and support mean to me, not only for my latest quest but, for every kooky idea I drum up. You are so wise and objective. When I'm ready to throw in the towel, you make me feel comfortable in doing so (should that be my choice) but find a way to tilt my head to the sky that I may see the silver lining around the looming clouds – I haven't given up yet – THANK YOU. That is just one of the many things I love about you.

To my spiritual sisters:

Rita, words cannot express the gratitude I feel toward you for sharing the story of truth that literally changed my outlook on life. I look forward to sharing my experience and allowing the calm of your words to dissolve doubts as you encourage me to keep pushing toward love and light.

Kania, hey Diva! You are the embodiment of sass, class and all things that true divas are made of. I've been proud to know you since we met in 2008. Thank you for the words of encouragement and the helpful links to informative sites. The saga continues – you will be apprised of progress regularly. Go Divatude!

Last but not least...

Aniki, I reached out to you expecting kind words and perhaps a bit of information (you're so well rounded and intelligent). What I got instead was your hand and a sincere offer to help me find my way. You scheduled my first au natural field trip to show me the ropes and help me make sense of all the product options before me. You move with such a graceful enthusiasm and sincere concern – how could I ever ask for a better friend?

Other friends and Family
To anyone I did not personally consult or inform of my decision, I pray you understand. I love you to no end and look forward to sharing many a laugh as I grow out my curly locks – who knows what's under this relaxer and what I might need in the future? I hope you'll be there if my troubled moment leads me to your door (or cell phone, or email or FB page)